Top-Scoring TOEFL Integrated Writing Sample

Integrated Writing Example Prompt

You have three minutes to read the following passage and take notes.In many organizations, perhaps the best way to approach certain new projects is to assemble a group of people into a team. Having a team of people attack a project offers several advantages. First of all, a group of people has a wider range of knowledge, expertise, and skills than any single individual is likely to possess. Also, because of the numbers of people involved and the greater resources they possess, a group can work more quickly in response to the task assigned to it and can come up with highly creative solutions to problems and issues. Sometimes these creative solutions come about because a group is more likely to make risky decisions that an individual might not undertake. This is because the group spreads responsibility for a decision to all the members and thus no single individual can be held accountable if the decision turns out to be wrong.

Taking part in a group process can be very rewarding for members of the team. Team members who have a voice in making a decision will no doubt feel better about carrying out the work that is entailed by that decision than they might doing work that is imposed on them by others. Also, the individual team member has a much better chance to “shine,” to get his or her contributions and ideas not only recognized but recognized as highly significant, because a team’s overall results can be more far-reaching and have greater impact than what might have otherwise been possible for the person to accomplish or contribute working alone.

Now listen to part of a lecture on the topic you just read about.

(Professor) Now I want to tell you about what one company found when it decided that it would turn over some of its new projects to teams of people, and make the team responsible for planning the projects and getting the work done. After about six months, the company took a look at how well the teams performed. On virtually every team, some members got almost a “free ride” … they didn’t contribute much at all, but if their team did a good job, they nevertheless benefited from the recognition the team got. And what about group members who worked especially well and who provided a lot of insight on problems and issues? Well…the recognition for a job well done went to the group as a whole, no names were named. So it won’t surprise you to learn that when the real contributors were asked how they felt about the group process, their attitude was just the opposite of what the reading predicts. Another finding was that some projects just didn’t move very quickly. Why? Because it took so long to reach consensus…it took many, many meetings to build the agreement among group members about how they would move the project along. On the other hand, there were other instances where one or two people managed to become very influential over what their group did. Sometimes when those influencers said “That will never work” about an idea the group was developing, the idea was quickly dropped instead of being further discussed. And then there was another occasion when a couple influencers convinced the group that a plan of theirs was “highly creative.” And even though some members tried to warn the rest of the group that the project was moving in directions that might not work, they were basically ignored by other group members. Can you guess the ending to *this* story? When the project failed, the blame was placed on all the members of the group.

Directions

You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of the quality of your writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and their relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words.

Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on points made in the reading.

TOEFL Integrated Writing Sample Essay

The lecturer talks about research conducted by a firm that used the group system to handle their work. He says that the theory stated in the passage was very different and somewhat inaccurate when compared to what happened for real.

First, some members got free rides. That is, some didn’t work hard but got recognition for the success nonetheless. This also indicates that people who worked hard was not given recognition they should have got. In other words, they weren’t given the opportunity to “shine”. This directly contradicts what the passage indicates.

Second, groups were slow in progress. The passage says that groups are more responsive than individuals because of the number of people involved and their aggregated resources. However, the speaker talks about how the firm found out that groups were slower than individuals in decision making. Groups needed more time for meetings, which are necessary procedures in decision making. This was another part where experience contradicted theory.

Third, influential people might emerge, and lead the group towards glory or failure. If the influential people are going in the right direction there would be no problem. But in cases where they go in the wrong direction, there is nobody that has enough influence to counter the decision made. In other words, the group might turn into a dictatorship, with the influential party as the leader, and might be less flexible in thinking. They might become one-sided, and thus fail to succeed.

TOEFL Writing Sample Analysis

There are three key things this TOEFL example essay does that results in its high score:

  • Clearly presents main points
  • Contrasts lecture and reading points
  • Few grammatical/spelling errors

This essay clearly organizes the three main points made in the lecture, which is what the first part of the prompt asked for. (“Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard.”) There is one paragraph for each point, and the point is clearly stated within the first sentence of the paragraph followed by specific details from the lecture. This organization makes it easy to follow the writer’s thinking and see that they understood the lecture.

Additionally, the essay clearly contrasts points made in the lecture with points made in the reading. Each main paragraph includes an example of how the two are different, and the writer makes these differences clear by using words and phrases such as “however” and “this directly contradicts.” Stating these differences answers the second part of the prompt (“explain how they cast doubt on points made in the reading”) and shows that the writer understood both the lecture and reading well enough to differentiate between the two.

Finally, there are only a few minor spelling and grammar errors, the most noticeable of which is the incorrect use of the word “influent” in the final paragraph (it should be “influential”), and they do not detract from the meaning of the essay. This writer shows a strong grasp of the English language, a key TOEFL skill.

This essay shows that the writer understood the main points of both the lecture and the reading well enough to both describe them and contrast them. That, along with the relatively few mechanical errors, gives the essay a top score.

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